This week i have been very out of character and part of me has enjoyed it, but then the other part of me feels like i am losing myself. We finally had our talk and the outcome is what i expected,but that didn’t make it any easier.Now that i know the true fate i just want it to be over…like we obviously want different things and i just feel like a fucking idiot hanging around being your ‘best friend’ .. and it’s shitty but i just feel like if i don’t get what i want, why do you get what you want? i have actually finally given up on school work..i have a lab report due tonight that i have barely started and and took a nap..with an open house tonight and i have yet to really start..did i mention i am pretty close to failing the class to? And yesterday i laid in bed for an hour crying…….i haven’t done that since freshmen year. My life right now definitely just sucks, i mean there are good things going on, but all the long term stuff isn’t looking to hot….and i am just honestly getting frustrated and i need something to change.
“I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”—The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (via youjustyou)