“I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on ‘em. Hell yeah! Reminds me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque, and throw down on some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on… “you better flip that Frito dad, you know how I like it.”—mitch hederg
“I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.”—Ellen DeGeneres (via graceinplace) (via downsizing)
Last night i couldn’t sleep so i was just ‘stumlbling’ and watching tv when one of my really good friends from highschool who now lives half way around the world skyped me. We talked for a good 20-30 minutes then we hung up and i went back to stumbling before i feel asleep. The dream i had was one of those ones where you can’t tell if it was real or not, i know there is a technial term but i don’t know itt, anywhoodles i dreamt that matt had called me and i accepted blah blah but before the video’s focused in it was my mom’s face, i don’t know where she was, but she was on the screen and she looked realllly good, like back to 2005 before she had shingles and her diagnose, and she just smiled at me. It was like her message to me that she loves me and she is proud and agrees with me to stop holding on to that past that she is alright, and i will be alright to. <3
I feel like these past couple of days i have experienced my own awakening. i am finally realizing that the life i once lived is no longer in tact, it’s in the past and place where i can never return. Talking to an old friend tonight really helped me realize how much things have changed and me fighting the change is a never ending battle that i will not win. I have to start learning to accept myself for who i am, and learn to be happy with body and accept my faults. I have to accept that the family i thought i had, isn’t, and that family is not always blood. I also have to learn that finally speaking up and voicing my thoughts, ones i have had for months/years, need to finally turn into actions, which then need to turn into habits. I have the life i want pictured in my head which i believe to be the first step, its now going after it and accepting that it won’t all work out and that i have to be happy with that. I just thought i would be in a different place when i was 19 than i am now. I never expected the hurdles, but who does. in end to sum it up, i need to move on release the anger i have built up for things out of my control, stop worrying about other people’s opinions and move on.
“Maybe it’s a dream and if i scream it will burst at the seams and the whole place would fall into pieces and they would say “how could we have known”, and “i would say it’s not that hard to tell.”and the water will be lost in the well.”—Jack Johnson, you just make perfect sense.
If people are “allowed” to not believe in god, then i am going to stop believing in calories, i mean you can’t see them only the way they work, kinda like god. so i quit believing in them, and reading there little numbers on delicious food.
“life is what happens when you’re to busy making plans.”—i know this quote is over used but it definitely fits into my life right now in trying to stay in contact with everyone from home and try to plan seeing everyone before we all go back to school. and i’m giving up. i’m over it.